If any of you have watched Dr. Phil or Joy Behar lately, they have both been showing a mother giving her son Hot Sauce in his mouth as a form of punishment; then the video shows her putting him in a cold shower as another form of punishment.
Parents for years have had unique forms of punishment but now we have video cameras to capture it and document it for the authorities. When I was growing up there weren’t any cameras and parents were allowed to do whatever they wanted.
This isn’t to say that parents were doing the right things or the wrong things, but now I think more avenues are around to document what is happening. Recently a friend commented how she can not stand the smell of bar soap because her mom used to wash her mouth out with soap.
How many of us remember the taste of soap from our parents when we said a dirty word? Was that child abuse? It was a parent’s way of telling their children that using those words were wrong. Parents often do what their parents did and the cycle continues unless they learn better parenting techniques.
Time out is a proven technique that normally works without scaring a child’s emotional health. This technique was not used in the 50’s or 60’s and not in the 40’s or 30’s, so many parents used spanking and soap. I’m not saying either of those techniques are right, I’m just suggesting, that you can see how the techniques were adopted and continued.
Using stickers as a reward for good behavior and working toward goals that a child can do, can also be a great way to help a child.
Cold Showers and Hot Sauce does seem a bit archaic to me and ones that seem to hurt the child’s relationship with the parent. It doesn’t establish a bond with the child, but creates an authority figure over the child.
Working with children to meet expected results and helping them to know why those results work makes for a better relationship. Developing trust with children and seeking their help to solve problems in families is a better way to grow their creative solutions to life.
I do remember when a teacher in Catholic school gave a hot pepper to a student to eat because he had acted up in class. She made him eat the pepper and swallow it before she would let him leave the class. I thought that was so cruel. She got away with it and he never acted up again, but today, she would have lost her job.
Abusing authority with children doesn’t help them trust, it breeds distrust.